TITLE: Going to rainbow end

Planning

1.Got ready

2.Had breakfast

3.brushed my teeth

4.Drove to Rainbow end

5.Arrived there and went on the rides

Writing                   

“Woohoo” I jumped up in an excitement I quickly raced to my wardrobe pulled out the clothes that I wanted to wear. I put my cloths on and then I went to close my wardrobe. Then I went to put my black and white shoes on and then zoomed off to the kitchen.

Then I walked to the kitchen and smelt a delicious smell of flounder. I licked the creamy butter off the pan then I went to gently pick up the flounder. Then took the bones out of it so I don’t choke. Then I munched the rest of flounder in my mouth. When I got full I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and wash my face.

When I got to the tub I got my tooth brush and put some toothpaste on it. Then I scrubbed my teeth so they can be shiny and brilliant. Then I got some mouth wash and made my breath smell fresh as a baby’s breath. Then I went to go and pack all my stuff in the car and then buckled myself in and took off.

When we arrived at Rainbow end I jumped out of the car like a bouncing rabbit. Then I quickly ran to the entries and went to the counter. Then dad went to get out his cash and pay for us and bought wristbands. So then I told dad “ dad can we go on the big roller-coaster” then he replied “okay then come on” so then we went on the roller-coaster and was going up and down all around. Them when the park shut down we went home.

Marking

Ideas	Points	Comment
	3	Lots of simple ideas about the topic but there is no detail
miss Baker	3	Some simple ideas with a little bit of detail